Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
