Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I will be naked everywhere
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
