I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
