Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
