I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
