And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
