Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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