I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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