Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
