i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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