I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
