You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
