As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
