hell yes lets make some ravioli
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
