Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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