talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
