and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
