mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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