I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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