Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
