loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
