Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
