I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
