Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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