I can tuck mytits in my pants
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
it's like iHOP with fire
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
