apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
