Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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