I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
