Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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