so explain again why im purple
no
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
