Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
