just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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