Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
