Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
