I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
