Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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