Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
im holly from the hills drunk
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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