Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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