when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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