Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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