I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
