we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
