there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
