It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Every concussion has its silver lining
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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