i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
