yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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