we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
