Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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