Define "chronic" masturbator.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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