omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
